Shika Time
by Kijo Asuka
Summary: In which my best friend Chiaki wins a raffle and gets to spend a month with the lazy Shikamaru. Crazy-ness happens. Chiaki is NOT a fangirl of Shika, so this should be amusing.... Gift fic. My fifth fanfic. There is NO chiakixshika, On either side.
1. Into the Raffle She Goes

**NOTE:**

The story takes place in the setting of my other story, The Bishie Killer. Uryu Ishida is **hot**. This story is a present for my best friend, Chiaki.

Chiaki is not a fangirl of Shikamaru. And also, I am not making Chiaki have a sexual/romantic relationship with any _Naruto_ Characters. Or any other characters. I do this in all my stories out of respect for the other fangirls. The character Asuka in here who is Chiaki's best friend is me. But I am not going to be in this story a lot.

**I am not Kishimoto, therefore, I am not filthy rich and I don't own _Naruto_. I apologize, but there is one character crossover. This is because of where the setting is and the circumstances. I do not own Uryu Ishida or Bleach. I am obviously not Tite Kubo.  
**

* * *

Chiaki Midorikawa, one of the investigators for FIND B, was inside Sweets. Sweets was bishie club, and at the moment Agent Kiku, the manager of Sweets, was telling all the fangirls in her club about a bishie raffle sponsored by Yumi's House of Bishie.

"This week, and this week only, Yumi Watanabe is giving all the regulars of Sweets a chance to be with a sexy bishie for a month! The bishies being paid excessive amounts of monet for this include: Koaru and Hikaru; Miroku; Shikamaru; Pein; and Itsumi. The raffle tickets are being sold at the bar by my cousin Rew, who has a contract with Los Buenos! 5 lucky fangirls will get the lusted-after opportunity to live with a bishie for a month!! Koaru and Hikaru are a package deal. You get both! " Exclaimed Agent Kiku, to the cheers and exited faces of the fangirls currently in her club. Asuka, Chiaki's best friend, was also there, sitting across from Chiaki and sipping a Sharingan Margarita.

"You signing up?" Asuka asked her friend, and fellow investigator.

"DUH! I mean, they have Koaru and Hikaru! And if I win them, my dreams will come true!" said Chiaki, as Agent Kiku announced that Uryu Ishida, was to perform for them shortly, amid the crazed cheers of the Ishida fangirls. ((perform. perform what u ask? wait and see... MUAHAHA!!))

"My god! Uryu's here!" squealed Asuka. "He's sooooo fiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!!" She finished, as she swooned.

"I know he is a hot bishie, but Asuka, I HAVE to sign up! I **HAVE** to buy a raffle ticket!! I MUST win Hikaru and Koaru!! We will live together, in their penthouse, and we will have strange and very crazy moments together..." said Chiaki as she imagined it all.

"Then go sign up, Chiaki!! Rew is over there, at the bar. It won't be long before everyone else rushes over there and gets the winning ticket! Go buy it!!" encouraged Asuka, as she checked Rew out, decided he wasn't that bad, and thought about hiring him...

"Go with me! you're not going to sign up for anyone?" asked Chiaki, puzzeled.

"Well, no. I mean, Shikamaru and Miroku and Itsumi aren't bad at all, but if Itachi, Sesshy-sama, and Ryuzaki-san were up for grabs, I would, but, eh, I don't feel like it. Besides, I do not find the Hitachiin twins hot at all. They're not even smokey." explained Asuka, distracted. "But I'll go over there, and see how much that Rew boy costs... He **does** have a contract with Los Buenos, no?"

"Yeah, Kiku just said that. You're seriously considering buying a non-bishie for once?"

"Why not? Bishies are expensive, and I'm bored."

"Yes, I get it!! God, Asuka. Rew is a decent looking one, you usually go for the extremely hawt _**bad**_ smexy delicious bishies."

"Eh. I'm bored. Maybe I can pay him a thrity bucks or something for a make-out session."

"You go ask him his rates, while I buy a raffle ticket. Yah?" at this, they both got up and walked up to the bar. There were about 23 girls signing up and buying raffle tickets. Chiaki went up to Rew to ask what the price was.

"How much for 12 tickets?"

"Yumi foresaw this, and there is the limit of 1 ticket per fangirl."

"Shit. Fine. How much for 1?"

"3,000."

"Huh. That's cheaper than I thought." muttered Chiaki as she pulled out her deluxe black-purple FIND B investigator edition card that her boss controlled the money for, and paid. She then turned to Asuka, but saw she was slightly green, so she didn't say anything and they walked out of Rew's earshot. "What's up?"

"EEEW! Rew is the shit on the hoof of a jackass compared to our boss. He looks hot from a distance, but he doesn't come close to Ryuzaki-san."

"That's Los Buenos qualaty for you. Why do you think Yumi only contracts bishies?"

"But I heard she dropped Deidara, and Los Buenos picked him up!"

"Who told you?"

"It was in BISHONEN WEEKLY."

"... I didn't read that!"

"You never read the gossip section, that's why."

The friends were taken out of their converstation by the sound of sexy techno coming on. Asuka and Chiaki both turned simultainiously, their eyes wide, and they saw Uryu just standing there, being admired by the fangirls with shining eyes. Uryu Ishida was not the best bishie, but he where he lacked in looks, he made up for in awesomeness. He always had an entourage of 4 fangirls at a time, he always performed at clubs, whether or not Yumi forced him to. He always went to extra photoshoots, and made his fangirls happy. Currently, Uryu Ishida was dancing to tecno in a way that caused all the people in the room, including Rew, to swoon and melt. After 10 minutes of dancing, the song ended, and he removed his shirt and threw it into the crowd. "URYU!!"

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

"URYU! URYU! UURYU! URYU! URYU! URYU! URYU! URYU! URYU! URYU! URYU! URYU! URYU! URYU! URYU! URYU!!" The fangirls were cheering wildly and throwing various things at him. Agent Kiku, seeing the opportuniy, sent Rew into the mob with a cart of roses. Poor inferior Rew was overwhelmed by the speed in which the fangirls took flowers and threw money at him, only to fling them onstage, directly at the shirtless Ishida. Ishida's top bitches came onstage to pick up the roses, and give their leader a pimpin' dark purple fur coat and Ishida's grand cane of awesomeness. Ishida exited Sweets on a purple carpet rolled out by Kiku and several fangirls. A black limo waited, with two stern looking BB's on either side of Uryu's door.

END OF CHAPTER 1

_Who does Chiaki win? ((the answer to this is obvious. why am I even asking?))_

_What happens next??_

* * *

The true reason chapter 1 ended so suddenly is because I got tired of typing. And I wanted to have an obvious sort-of cliffhanger. Well, it sort of is a cliff-hanger.

**If you would like to find out more background on Yumi's House of Bishie, and find out wtf a BB is, read Chapter 1 of The Bishie Killer. If you would like to find out more about FIND B Investigation Group, read Chapters 2 and 3 of The Bishie Killer. To discover more about the setting and the kind of people Chiaki and Asuka are, I suggest you read The Bishie Killer, or read Itachi's Problem for more info on Asuka. But if you don't care if you need more background information of not, then don't read them. **

ThanX 4 Reading!!

**Review at Will. **Feedback and constructive criticism is appreciated, but not demanded. But don't pointlessly tell me you need more info on some things here. I wrote stories by me where you can read more background info.

I hope you liked it!

-Kijo Asuka ((Gaby))


	2. The Letter of Bishies and Wonder

**Note:**

Only 726 words? At least I got this chapter out. This chapter doesn't have much action or things going on, but I need this chapter so the rest of the story falls into place nicely. Chiaki, I finally finished it. Yay! Now, while my muse is still on fire, I will go write IP chapter 7.

**Disclaimer: Do I own _Naruto_? No. Not even Itachi Uchiha. -tear slides down face- But do I own this plot? Yes. Do I own Chiaki? Well, not really, she's her own person, but I do own the discription of her in this story. Do I own myself? Asuka? Sadly, yes. I keep trying to sell my character to Kishimoto so I could be a _Naruto_ character, but he's really mean, and says no. -sobs- Oh, don't forget i own da plot and idea. But the title is Chiaki's. She came up with it in the first place.  
**

WTF R U looking at? Go read the story!!

* * *

"Shikamaru, don't you have a meeting with the Boss?" asked Chouji, as he and Shikamaru stared at the clouds, ignoring the fangirls 10 feet away that were being held back with an electric metal fence. There were several hundred camera brands and models in use, as the fangirls tried to take good pictures.

"Ah, it seems I do... how troublesome." he said lazily as he did nothing and kept laying there. Chouji almost laughed, his best friend was sometimes so ridiculously lazy.

"I see your body guard came to get you. The car is over there." Said Chouji, as he pointed at a black strech limo, that was as inconspicious as Itachi dressed in black princley clothes with silver assesories, and walking on a crimson carpet. ((_damn. _i'd like to see that. maybe i'll put that in TBK...))

Shikamaru sighed. "How troublesome..." He said, as he got up, and walked slowly toward the limo, completely ignoring the screaming fangirls, and slouching slightly.

His body guard for the day, some girl named Wina, opened the limo door for him as a BPT (bishie protection team) kept the raving fangirls at a safe distance. The reason there are only female BB's is because females are tougher, and they know how trick fangirls and protect bishies. A guy BB would just be seduced by a random fangirl, and all everyone else would know is that there was quite a crowd of fangirls, and that there was a male scream barely being heard over the fangirl's excited 'kyaah!' 's

He arrived at the penthouse he was to share with a fan. There were 2 rooms, 1 uber fancy kitchen,a gigantic living room, and excersize room, a small dining area, an indoor jakuzi and pool; and a mercedes that could be used for transportation.

Wina opened the penthouse door for him, and he stepped inside to talk to his boss; Yumi Watanbe.

XxXxX

"Oh my fucking god!! Asuka!!" Yelled Chiaki, as she burst into their shared apartment. Asuka had been out all night, club-hopping and most likely getting intoxicated, with some friends from the Bloody Hotties vampire book-club she was a member of. It was 8 in the morning, on a Sunday, and Asuka had a hangover. Chiaki, instead of party-ing hardy on a Saturday night, had been hanging out with her sister Miharu and playing on a playstation 2. So Chiaki was well-rested and happy, while Asuka got no sleep and was uber bitchy.

"What!! Que?! God, do you have to freaking scream so damn loud?! Fuck! I was sleeping!! URGH!!" Yelled Asuka as she covered her face with a fat pillow, and submerged herself in blankets.

"ASUKA!! I WON!!"

"WHAT!!" Asuka sat up, giving Chiaki and excellent view of her puffy, black under-eye circles, frizzy hair that rivaled the volume of an afro; and Tigger pajamas. Her eyes were also bloodshot, and there was a bandana tied around her forehead.

"I won! See, this letter is from Yumi's House of Bishie. They wouldn't be sending me one if I hadn't won!" Chiaki said happily, her sleek, straight, ebony locks Asuka was jealous of moving gracefully behind her ear. ((no fair!! i hav wavy brown hair that frizzes, and she has straight black hair!! i want straight, sleek hair!! -sobs-))

"Oh yeah. The raffle from Agent Kiku, at Sweets. Where Uryu danced..." Asuka spaced out and began to drool, most likely remembering the dancing Ishida. ((_DAMN_.))

"Yeah..." Asuka and Chiaki stayed there, daydreaming for a few seconds. The the only sound to be heard was the clock ticking.

"WAIT!! Chiaki, did you win?! Open the envolope!!" Asuka exclaimed, awakening Chiaki out of Bishie Paradise.

"Ok!! OK!!" Chiaki started to open the envelope carefully. Asuka lost patience, snatched it from her roommate and tore it open hastily. She then shoved the letter enclosed at her best friend.

"What does it say?"

"It says: _Dear Chiaki Midorikawa..._" She started, when Asuka snatched it again, rudely; and began reading.

"_Dear Chiaki Midorikawa, You bought a raffle ticket 3 weeks ago, and your number, #567890423588992826164856708 was drawn as a winner. Congratulations!! You have won a month with Shikamru Nara!! _Blah blah, the address you're supposed to go to, blah, blah, boring shit, boring shit... more blah, a few disclaimers, who cares about that.. blah, yeah, Chiaki the rest is boring."

END OF CHAPTER 2

* * *

_What will Shikamaru's conversation with his boss be like?_

_Will Chiaki attempt to kill Shikamaru?_

_What shall develope in this plot you know nothing of?_

To find out, or if you're just bored, you'll HAVE to read chapter 3, Ryuzaki-san said so. And he rules the region I live in. O.o

ThanX 4 reading!! -glomps you-

**Review if you're an awesome person. If not, don't review. XP  
**

-Kijo Asuka ((Gaby))

_Kijo Asuka currently has a song she did a songfic for stuck in her head. The song is called "Sweet Sacrifice" and it is by Evanescence. _Damn, Amy Lee, trade voices with me!


	3. Da RuleZ

**Note: **

Tah dah!! Here ya go, Chiaki!! hope u likey!! And yes, I continue stretching out the time in which you almost meet Shikamaru. -sigh- Oh well. :)

**I do not own Shikamaru Nara.  MMk? The rest, sure.**

"Shika-Shika." She said, sitting at a fancy chair that was most likely carried there to accomodate her. Today, Yumi Watanabe was dressed in an elegant green silk, knee length dress. The dress was strapless, and had some gold embroidery on it. She was wearing a golden 'shrug' over it. Her shoes-- ballet slippers-- were golden, expensive, and designer. Probably 8 by Hachiko.

"........" He was too lazy to correct her and tell him to call him Shikamaru, instead of his stage name. He sank into a plush couch.

"Nara-san, we have come to discuss the details--"

"Now, now, Ayako. Introduce yourself first." The petite girl sitting next to Yumi Watanabe had a short layered haircut. Her shoulder lenght black hair had thin blue streaks in it, and it appeared she was wearing contacts of the palest, coldest blue.

"I am Ayako Enpitsu. ((Ayako "Pencil" -laughs-)) I am an intern at Yumi Watanabe's House of Bishie, Inc. I studied at Nihongo U, and earned my degree in--"

"That's enough, Ayako, Shika-Shika is easily bored." Yumi cautioned.

"Anyways, I'm here to inform you of the rules." She looked at him, waiting for a response.

"...." There appearantly was none. Or he was just lazy. Ayako decided to ignore his silence.

Ayako cleared her throat. "The Rules that must be followed when a bishie and a female non-lover, wife, girlfriend, one-night stand, sister, cousin, mother, grandmother, et cetera; are for the bishie's protection. The Rules the Bishie must follow are: Do not sell your body. Do not allow her to look at you/take pictures of you or otherwise observe you unclothed." She looked up at him, as if to confirm he wasn't dead and that he could hear her. "She is not to 'suck it', or otherwise interact with your reproductive organ... You are to discourage physical contact, no hugs, as that could cause Yumi to lose money... No 'french ones', not even a simple peck on the cheek. You are not to see _her_ unclothed, or skantily clad. As a matter of fact....." Shikamaru stopped listening. He looked at her face expressionlessly, nodding absently as he pulled out a ciggarette, lit it, and began to smoke lazily. Yumi placed her hand on Ayako's shoulder.

"Ayako, he's had enough. He's not going to listen. Just tell him the short version." Yumi said, sounding amused. Ayako narrowed her eyes at Shikamaru.

"She's a girl. She is most likely a fangirl. Treat her as such." Then she stood, and helped her boss, Yumi, up.

"Bye Shika-Shika. Oh, Ayako." She said, as they were halfway to the door.

"Yes, Watanabe-sama?"

"Hand him the information sheet and profile of the lucky fangirl!" Ayako removed a blue folder from a rather large grey bag, and out-streched her arm toward Shikamaru. Shikamaru remained on the couch. He didn't move. Ayako sighed, and walked toward him. She handed him the folder, walked back, and opened the door for her boss. They left, as Shikamaru regarded the folder warily.

_.:Meanwhile..._

As Shikamaru engaged the blue folder in a staring contest, Chiaki was lounging at Sweets. She was waiting for someone from Yumi's House of Bishie to brief her regarding her month-long stay with Shikamaru Nara. Agent Kiku was polishing up the bar, because Sweets was relativly empty. There was no bishie performing, as Uryu was off filming a movie, Mugen was starring in a pirate soap-opera opposite some actress named Fuu; and every other bishie had somewhere to be other than at Sweets.

Actually, there was only five people in there that weren't part of the staff. Chiaki sat up when a sixth approached the club. It was an ebony-haired petit girl, that reminded Chiaki of Mitzi. /she hoped it was her that was the employee from Yumi's House of Bishies. She had been waiting for over an hour, here!! The short, blue-eyed serious assitant went to Agent Kiku. Agent Kiku pointed at Chiaki, as Chiaki pretended to read _ITALICIOUS: HOW HOT IS HE?? (AN ESSAY ABOUT ITACHI UCHIHA)_ by her friend Asuka. It was an article she had written for BISHONEN WEEKLY, but it seemed the magazine had no intention of publishing it.

The short, black-haired girl walked to Chiaki, and sat across from her.

"You are Midorikawa Chiaki, right?" Asked Ayako, stifly.

"Yeah. Are you from Yumi's House of Bishie?" Chiaki asked, wary. Fangirls were always trying to bribe her to allow them "free time" with a bishie she was suppposed to be protecting.

"Yes. I am Ms. Watanabe's assistant. My name is Ayako."

"Hi. So--"

"Okay. These are the "Rules of Conduct: Privileged Fangirls--"

"I already know what they are. I am a B.B., A Bishie Bodyguard. I had to take several memorization classes before I could be employed by Yumi's House of Bishie." Chiaki stated, solemnly.

"Oh." Ayako didn't quite know what to say. And to think, she had prepared a long lecture on rules and the consequences, but all that had just gone to waste. Poor Ayako.

"Where's the penthouse?" Chiaki asked, after a quick glance at her palm. Asuka had scribbled things for Chiaki to ask in barely legibile handwriting. In Sharpie.

Ayako sighed. She was still slightly depressed. "Here. Just come with me. I'll take you there."

END OF CHAPTER 3

Why? Because I got tired of typing...

NEXT TIME: Chiaki and Shikimaru finally meet. Yayss!!

**Review if you are kind.**

-Kijo Asuka**  
**


End file.
